Rambling on the transferred feast of Saint Peter and Paul

ItТs been a while since my last post. I donТt exactly know whatТs gotten into me lately. This summer has been spent away from my computer and its hard to bring myself to sit down a typeЕI have things I want to write about during the day but when the evening rolls around I just donТt make it into my study. Some thoughts rattling around:


I was speaking with a good friend of mine the other evening and we got to discuss what ever happened to great men of character. (Not intended to be gender exclusive, but the conversation revolved around great men of the past and the examples we have today.) No more are great figures judged on their character or for what they gave. But rather on how much they make, whom they cheated and what they took. As a patriot and all around good man, I hope he succeeds in bringing back wo/men of great character into our political system. Many prayers will be needed.


Fr. GriffissТ funeral was a fitting tribute. A highpoint for me was the music. I love it when many clergy get together and singЕO God our help in Ages Past almost caved the roof in. I had a slight accident as well. I was asked to be the Thurifer and before the Burial Office began I went to ask the Presiding Bishops blessing on the incense. Little did I know that the chain had mysteriously wrapped itself around a side stayЕwell anyway I handed the incense boat to the M.C. and when I pulled said chain to lift the top of the censer, the coals spilled about the Bishops feet. And for my effort I got a story from him of how he had set a bishop on fire with an acolytes torch. I have heard so many stories like that that I guess it was but a matter of time until I got my own to tell.


While pruning trees today I heard StingТs All this Time and JewelТs Who Will Save your Soul back to back and I couldnТt help but think of Lewis. Sting sung about two unwanted priests and Jewel asks the question УWho will Save your Soul if you wonТt save your own?Ф I imagine songs that wouldnТt top LewisТ list of favorites. I like both artists but them together rubbed me the wrong way and sent me off into the land of theology and culture againЕwithout Aquinas or even a pencil. How can I think about these things holding a pole saw? I had some good thoughts but alas they were tossed out with the pruned limbs and branches. Perhaps they were meant to beЕanyway I canТt get the thread back.


Lastly I have sort of gotten a wee bit ahead reading the Space TrilogyЕIТm almost halfway through That Hideous Strength. I couldnТt help myself! I intend to spend some time this evening recollecting thoughts from the assigned chapters. ItТs a great read though and I am really enjoying his work.


Pax et Bonum.

Out of the Silent Planet

УТAnd indeed,Т he continued, Сthe poem is a good example. For the most splendid line becomes fully only by means of all the lines after it; if you went back to it you would find it less splendid than you thought. You would kill it.Ф (lxxvii)


The poetry is life perhaps? Can one particular event in ones past be brought back and found with the same amount of import? I think I like what C.S. is saying in this passage. If one looks back to ones baptism only, then the event might be less splendid? For it is only the beginning of a life lived into salvation and tells nothing of the acts of the Christian life. Can we only dwell on the high points of our lifeЕif we do, what does that say about the space in-between? For that matter, what does that say about the Сhigh points.Т I think Lewis was making a point about the lost beauty of life. The equal beauty and importance that should be found in every day. Dwelling on high points in the past or longing for certain crescendos in the future is sinful and in a robs life of its beauty.


I enjoyed RansomТs journey to the Oyarsa. I enjoyed the Hrossa and there attitude towards obedience and life. УThe Hrossa used to have many books of poetryЕbut now they have fewer. They say that the writing of books destroys poetry.Ф (cix) Perhaps again the beauty of life begins to lose its beauty when recordedЕPerhaps in a way giving a standard or a measure by which things should be judgedЕinstead of simple enjoying the Presence and making rhyme and melody.


IТll try to post more later on. But I was for some reason struck by these things and thought it fitting to share.


Today is the Burial Office and Requiem Mass for Canon Father James Griffiss. Pray for all involved. It should be a beautiful and fitting tribute to a good man.

Corpus Christi Sunday and other sundries

Today Cat and I attended the feast of Corpus Christi at a local parish. It was quite moving. There is something about processing around the neighborhood singing Humbly I Adore Thee. Although we did get a few odd looks as we followed the priest around carrying the monstrance and walking under the Canopy.


I've been thinking more and more about Out of the Silent Planet. I learned that Dr. Ransom is modeled after J.R.R. Tolkien. It makes since--"'Trends' in the Church are ...serious, especially to those accustomed to find in it a solace and a 'pax' in times of temporal trouble, and not just another arena of strife and change." Its an interesting tale Lewis is spinning...I've got Watson et. al. figured out, but the Martians are intriguing. I can't figure out quite what he means for them to model...except for well, qualities that cannot exist on earth. He and Tolkien were quite the pair. But I can't leave out Charles Williams. If you haven't read his work, do so. It models the same ideals as that of Lewis and Tolkien. In fact the top image today is from William's parish.


I need to run. Grace and Peace

Hecken Schneiden

I spent most of yesterday trimming hedges with a German. It was an interesting experience for our styles were very different. The German got out his plum lines and implimented a very complex method for insuring an even hedge. I took a more artistic approach to the task at hand. I looked at the hedge and took a little off the top and sides...it became my canvas and the hedge trimmers my brush. In the end the results were the same...a nice even hedge. But one of us built a Mercedes and the other painted a portrait. It was interesting how the two of us were agitated with one another. He thought me inconsiderate or sloppy and possibly even mad for attempting to trim a hedge in such a manner. I thought his method boring, stuffy and life draining..."how much fun could that be?" I thought of OSP and how in some ways I long for a time when things are ordered in such manners...and then I thought "how much fun could that be?"

A Reflection on OSP

I was discussing this book with a dear friend who said he found the plot forced...he wanted Lewis' plot to prove itself, not force the plot to prove a point. For him the book was a bit ridgid as well, compared to Lewis' other works. ANd while I am by no means a scholar of Lewis I'll take his word. But I have found something differnt in the forced plot and rigidity. I have found comfort. It seems that Lewis is setting the stage to lament the passing of premodern thought and faith ordering. Again I look to the events in the life of the C. of E. as a possible catylst for his writing. I am probably closer to premodern in issues of faith than anything else and I find Lewis' point pushing endearing...giving a couple of "you go Lewis" as I have read. I think I can feel his sorrow at the conditions he writes within and understand why he feels or creates his science fiction tale. Now I may be totally off base but I have been known to be way off base and it hasn't stopped me yet. I have a few other things to say but lunch is five minutes from being over....

I bid you Goodnight

This morning Canon Father James Griffiss passed from this mortal life into the realms of Heaven and the full Glory of God. He will be sorely missed by many...and especially me. Over the past bit of time we had become very close and he taught me a great deal...he helped me to remain grounded during a rough time in my academic and ecclesial life. He was a great teacher, pushing me to my limit and beyond to "fair and delectable" places of thought and faith. It was good that he died peacefully in his sleep this morning while two faith filled people (AKMA & Margaret Adam) I care very much for were saying the morning office. I have been overwhelmed at the showing of support and have a renewed faith in the Communion of the Saints and the Church Militant. Some of his last words to me, "I will die with a sure and certain faith" Yes Father and I will live on with a sure and certain faith because of your witness and brotherhood.


Throughout the day two things kept popping in my head (among many):


DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.
John Donne



This is an old spiritual I have heard sung a time or two in different churches and by the Neville Brothers...it always moves me to tears:


Lay down my dear Brother, lay down and take your rest
I want to lay your head upon your Savior`s breast
I love you, but Jesus loves you best
I bid you goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
I bid you goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Lay down my dear Brother, lay down and take your rest
I want to lay your head upon your Savior`s breast
I love you, but Jesus loves you best
I bid you goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
I bid you goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
One of these mornings bright and early and soon, goodnight
Now they`re pickin` up the spirit to the shore beyond, goodnight
Go walking in the valley of the shadow of death, goodnight
He`s riding a staff, gonna comfort me, goodnight
Join the wise, there`s a soul to find, goodnight
Lord send a fire, not a flood next time, goodnight
To leave for the ark, that wonderful boat, goodnight
She really loaded down, getting water to float, goodnight
Now pray for the beast at the ending of the world, goodnight
He loved the children that would not be good, goodnight
I remember rather well, I remember right well, goodnight
I went walking to Jerusalem just like John
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Lay down my dear brother, lay down and take your rest
I wanna lay your head upon your Saviors breast
I love you, but Jesus loves you best
I bid you goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
I bid you goodnight, goodnight, goodnight



May the souls of all the faithfully departed through the mercy of Christ rest in peace eternal.

Dying with Frank

Spent the night at a palliative care unit last night with a friend who is coming to the end of this mortal life. He slept through the night and seems to be comfortable (morphine induced comfort anyway). It was there I saw a strange sight. A lady in the room across the hall wanted as her last wish to listen to Frank Sinatra as she died. So here was this woman, almost skeletal from a long bought with cancer, trying to dance in bed through her pain...trying to dance into the next life with the sounds of 'old blue eyes'. Its funny what emotions well up at times...I was sadened by the fact that she was to die alone without loved ones...but I couldn't help but be tickled and smile at her 'dancing' into the arms of death.


My thoughts were drifting last night to all of the problems in all of the churches. And although I do very much care about doctrine and such, I don't think if someone would have set with that lady, she would have cared what they thought about certain and divers issues. I think all she would have cared about is the fact that someone cared enough to spend a few minutes with her.


Confitebor tibi


Glory be to God on High...

Out of the Silent Planet- A reflection on Chapters i-vi

Well I got through the first six chapters last night. I thought it very interesting and thought provoking. I've never heard much about this work, so I had a blank slate from which to start. After taking so many theology and Ethics classes...learning all about Premodrn, Modern and Postmodern civilizations I couldn't help but think that Lewis was lamenting the Premodern era. He character Ransom, a 'pious man,' views the world in a differnt light. He seems to build on history and tradition, whereas Devine and Weston rebuke it as wasted learning. I also thought it interesting that he was kidnapped by 'Modernity' and forced into a set of values not his own. FOr Weston and Devine the life seems to be about money and hopeful fame...chivelry is a wasted use of energy. While some say that he wasn't writing about the changing world, I find it hard to believe that he wasn't influenced by a changing England to some degree. He lived immediatly following the LIberal Catholic movement in England...with all sorts of academics trying to reshape his faith to meet the demands of the changing society. What I take as his hero, Ransom, touches a place within my own wrestlings as well...feeling like I've been taken captive and all that I hold as true and good trying to be stripped away into wasted enegry. I will try and write more later...I have to go to work.
Grace and Peace

Tuesday in Whitsuntide

Busy day today. This morning I assited at the votive mass of Ephrim of Edessa, The Rt. Rev. Henry Nutt Parsley, Bishop of Alabama celebrating. The theological committee for the House of Bishops is here, doing what I know not. But I will say this Bishop Parsley is a nice man. Fr. Mark McIntosh delivered the sermon, and a decent one at that. It was then immediately to moving furniture up from the basement to the top floors of the dormatories. Next pushing a lawn mower. I am tired...but a good tired and my book arrived today so I need to get to reading so the group will not cast me off into the outer darkness of cyberspace.
Grace and Peace

Monday in Whitsuntide

Firstly, I would like to apologize to all the C.S. Lewis group. I have been so run down and busy that I didn't notice the impending date drawing ever nearer. I order the book from Barnes and Noble a few weeks back and they assured me it would be shipped with days...this is what I get for not keeping check on orders. After a fruitless search for the book tonight I came back home and tracked the book. It appears to be somewhere in Chicago now, so with any luck I'll have it tomorrow and then I'll set my mind to things Lewis and take a more active roll in the book club. there are some interesting things being said and I have tried to refrain from reading them fully...I don't want to taint my thoughts before I begin. Please do not count me out, I'll be up and running soon.


Today was spent writing my Ember Day letter to the Bishop...with this week being Embertide as well. I finished up several scholarships and wrote my home parish...my ink well is low. Tomorrow I cut grass and daydream.


Pax et Bonum

Reflections on the feast of Whitsunday

This morning I ventured here with the other Seabury Sacristan to hear a friend preach his last sermon before leaving to begin his priestly ministry. He delivered what I received as a fine sermon. He spoke of the Holy Ghost as Advocate and guide, not prosecutor. Very tough words in this turbulent time. I will whole heartedly admit that I often look to that Spirit in the Church to be the defender and yes...even prosecutor. I am much more comfortable with meet right and bounden duty and obedience than with the message of today...Love one another as I have loved you.


I was starkly reminded of that yesterday. There is a certain family this way who showed me what my true vocation is to be. The mother of the family ran up to me and gave me a big hug and said. "thank you so much for all you have done, we can never repay you for your kindness father Jeff." (I've tried time and time again to get her to stop calling me that...but my position in life confuses her...at this point I am neither here nor there and she's not the only one thrown by it.) Here is the kicker- I haven't done anything but show up and speak with them and spend time with their teenagers from Sunday to Sunday, and then it has really been off and on. Her family isn't interested in the fact that I can speak of the Summa Theologica or the Of the Lawes of Ecclesiastical Politie with confidence...she could probably care less that I know any of this stuff...all she cared about really was the fact that I showed up and spent time with them. And that is the scariest part of this vocation. Doctrine is comforting...obedience is freeing...trying day by day, hour by hour to love one another as I have loved you is a task of monumental proportions. It is a task that most certainly requires that Advocate, that Spirit of Love and Truth.


Veni, Sancte Spiritus,
Et emitte coelitus
Lucis tuae radium

And all the sacristans rejoiced on Whitsun Eve

I survived the Easter Quarter. The Commencement Mass yesterday went rather well, if I do say so myself. That was a tremendous amount of work and I am overjoyed that I will have nothing to do with it next year...except God willing walk the line and graduate. It was by far the largest and most complicated service I have ever put together. There were so many people doing so many different things...it is an amazing thing to watch the Paraclete at work. I thought of yesterday like jumping in a raging river...you have two choices: you can try and fight against the river and control its flow, and probably drown, or you can take a deep breath kick back and enjoy the ride. I enjoyed the ride (for the most part).


I have all but completed my duties in Anglican Belief and Practice Since the Oxford Movement. One more paper is to be turned in...then grading and signing on the dotted line; thus officially ending my duties as a lecturer and teaching assistant.


Today I traveled down to St. James Cathedral to participate in the Confirmation mass with my parish class. It was a grand event indeed. I was personally very moved by the Bishop's homily in which he spelled out in no uncertain terms what exactly these confirmands were getting themselves into by taking on fully the faith of Christ. And while they might not be able to recite from memory the Catechism, or know the complete history of Christendom, the kids were ready and excited. They have begun a life of prayer and deep thought about just what it means to humble yourself before Christ and follow Him- hence the questions I wrote of last week. That's what I love about the youth, they take nothing at face value, and one better have his act together in instructing them. I have learned a great deal from the experience and my hand was forced in thinking about mission and Church. So please say a prayer for those fine young men and women receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost "more and more" on a beautiful Saturday morning.


In other news Cat and I went and saw Bruce Almighty last night. While I was thrown and on the verge of being offended throughout the entire movie...what with thinking through all of the serious issues it raised with a little to much humor: pain and suffering, free will, true love and charity, the Sovereignty of the Almighty. Cat said that "I seriously needed to get over it and just enjoy the movie, for the love of God for once enjoy something without tearing it down into pieces!" She found the movie to be very touching and and containing a message that is sorely needed: become a miracle...take action and make the world a better place. She told me that it is a great entrance point for many today, this might get them thinking about spiritual stuff. I will take her advice and not write an defence of sound doctrine, I will leave it at it this: it was a funny movie that might get people thinking about spiritual stuff.


Finally, there is a tremendous amount of unrest and angst in the Anglican Communion, which for us in America will come to a head later this summer. While it seems that this has been going on for quite some time now, it seems a bit more seroius now. Arch Bishops are declaring themselves out of communion with other Arch Bishops and some are neglecting our call to unity and acting alone, for some this is a wonderful showing of courage...for others it is a painfilled reminder of our brokeness and distance.


Please pray for the whole state of Christ's Church militant upon the earth...
In Domino confido

Two Things

I find it rather odd that in keeping a blog page when you are not asking for or particularly interested in replies you get more than your fair share and then you you are really looking for comments you get none. Case in point, yesterday I posted on evangelism and wrote what in mind could be called questionable and I was really looking forward to hearing what others thought. Am I crazy? Am I totally off the mark with this one? I guess the reason I am so curious is that some of these ideas I front are helping me wrap up that independent study I have been speaking of all quarter...so if you have a minute and an opinion I would love to hear others thoughts. Do I need to go back to the drawing board or does this speak to anyone?


I am on the eve of my greatest responsibility as a sacristan...the Seabury Graduation is this week and the clock has been set in motion...and I am sick :( I don't mean just a little run down or tired, I mean sick). I had to go the hospital last night (if the North Shore had immediate care clinics I would have gone there, but oh well). My sinuses were killing me. It felt as if my teeth were being pushed out of my head and my ears and throat were going to catch on fire and explode. I have a pretty decent pain tolerance...I have passed a kidney stone, dislocated several joints...and this pain was equal to them. So after a three hour stay I was sent home with antibiotics and Vicodin. THe Vicodin doesn't help the cause much, I am still in major pain but only now can't function to any degree. One of my sinus cavities cracked and has been bleeding of and on...this is poor timing to say the least. I can only hope things will get better today and tonight...I hope and pray that tomorrow is going to be a brighter day. Thanks be to God that my school work is finished and I have everything together for tomorrow and Friday...only thing left is to get everybody involved rehearsed and informed as well. The days whining is finished. Back to bed.


St. Michael and all Angels pray for me.

More thoughts on Evangelization

Earlier this morning as I was out for my morning walk with Sydney, four Mallards cupped up and skied to a landing on the flat roof next door at the Catholic Church. Were they the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, landing on the roof to pronounce judgment on the world? Or were they simply lost and confused? Either It was an odd sight to see ducks landing on a roof as if it were a pond and for some reason prompted me to begin thinking about the witness of the Anglican Church to the world. Perhaps I need more sleep…


One way I look at theology is a continuum, with one end being Redemptive theology and the other Incarnational. With the fulcrum being sound catholic thought. By reading Paul's epistles you can get a hint of what I mean. For him salvation was already…but not yet, at least in its fullness. With Redemptive thought there is a progression that ends in heretical thought such a double predestination and a wrath filed vengeful God toying with His subjects. With Incarnational thought there is a progression that begins by us sharing in Christ and ends by saying that we (the world) are Christ (God) in the fullness-with no understanding of Salvation or Other…sort of humanistic.


The Episcopal Church has for the last twenty or so years been very much on the Incarnational side of this continuum, at least in my mind. All of the contemporary theology I read from Arch Bishops like Ramsey and Williams leads me in that direction. And while I am a huge fan of the 1979 Book of Common Prayer, it too very much understands the world Incarnationally, with major attempts at leaving Redemptive thought in history.


I think Incarnational theology is best employed in times of prosperity. And I don't think the Anglican Church has lost its grip on Redemptive theology…where there is war, poverty and severe oppression, the Church makes full use if its Redemptive thought.


The Church in America is in a time of prosperity i.e. money is being made, jobs are easy to come by, times are generally good…at least for those who have authority for the guidance of the Episcopal Church. So they are much more in tune with the Incarnational aspects of the continuum.


Now I come to mission. The places and people the Episcopal Church says it wants to reach out to might not have such a prosperous understanding of their fate. The world is harder for them. The manual laborers I worked with most certainly understood the world in a much different way than do the committees that head up the mission of the Episcopal Church. I think that youth and young adults might as well…it has certainly been my experience in ministering to and in sharing my time with them. The world appears hard and cold more so than the fullness of Christ.


So when the Church tries to reach out to the world and especially those for whom the world isn't 'gravy' with this we are the fullness of Christ, come share in Christ with us…it doesn't have clout…they certainly aren't the fullness of Christ, look at their actions etc. etc. etc. The afore mentioned groups I spend time with want a rock, they want Salvation from this hard and sometimes cold world…not what in their minds is to pretend to share in something.


That is why the methods the Episcopal Church is using are only going to be effective for a small section of America. That is why I think, those kids after watching the video asked those questions. Things became much clearer for them when I moved the conversation back towards the middle of the continuum…to what is in my mind a more complete understanding of things.


Mind you, this is just a few quick thoughts and I welcome challenges and ideas that would help me to think about all this.


Grace and Peace

Thoughts for the day

The Church is the mission of Christ...if not, it is not Church.


Christianity is performance...if not, it is not Christianity.

David Dark: Everyday Apocalypse...A pst for Ethics

Well Trevor's probably upset with me. I should have posted this last week...but I was sick and run down and really didn't feel like thinking about anything. But here goes...


I for the most part liked Dark's book. He talks allot of the Simpson's, Radiohead and Flannery O'Conner as apocalyptic horsemen...but not as towncryers of the eminent endtime, rather their ability to flip reality on its ear and espouse a different take on the world. One that supposedly sees the world for what it is. My dear friend Bill is already aware of this and has used the Simpsons time and time again in theological reflection. I myself turn to modern rap and rock when talking with youth. It is a more correct reality...Because it either refuses to paint the world rosey. This things unearth pain and suffering and isolation as well as oppression and comedy-whats truly funny. It is a more correct reality...it sees the world where it is and speaks the truth to it. Look one post down for my thoughts on what the CHurch is doing about language barriers and truth telling. I differ with Dark in my own language. I speak to these kids with the same power of language that the music does...it isn't rosey but its where there are. Dark could have done better in resolving the schism that the Simpsons, O'Connor and Radiohead reveal. I think the before mentioned things espouse what the Scripture tells us is the truth about humanity. They and in my opinion Dark, doesn't reveal Scriptures answer to the truth of humanity...they seems a bit reluctant to use that powerful of language.....

Is Christ worth Dying For?

I would like to warn those with weak hearts not to take this ride. If you are still here I ask the question, Is Christ worth dying for? Actually I didn't ask it first, I was asked this question this morning. It was during my Confirmation class. We had just finished the Presiding Bishops video, Taste and See, a video to help educate or evangelize the unchurched and those new to the Episcopal Church. Warning I am about to get opinionated and perhaps a bit irrational...


After watching the video, all three kids asked what makes Christianity any different than school or soccer teams. AH justice. In class last week we discussed the 20/20 vision for the Episcopal Church and I asked what made that vision any different from what a country club or other social club would propose. A few under-the-breath hisses and a quick dismissal from what seemed such an obviously absurd question. But this morning it wasn't me. I did nothing to provoke the question...I didn't lead the witness...I simple pressed play like I had been asked to do. Its not just me.
It was from the first question came the second...What makes Christ worth dying for?


It seems to me that the Episcopal Church's evangelization strategy is to offer upper middle class well-to-do Americans a "hipper" spiritual alternative to what they presently posses. After listening to the language used in these afore mentioned avenues, I became amused. I have spent the better part of my adult life with youth, young adults and blue color workers of every make and what the Episcopal Church offers would be written off by the majority of these groups...the very same groups we claim to reach out to.


I leave you with a few questions that I have exploded in the depth of my soul, sending irritating splinters throughout to be dug out one by one. I am wondering if the Church (any Church for that matter) proposes an honest view of the world...Especially in this postmodern time. Has it (they) sold out and simply tried to fit in as an alternative to soccer? Do we still understand salvation, do we want to? I ask these questions because to begin to answer the questions raised by the youth today required (in my mind at least, and I do not claim to be an authority on contemporary Episcopal language) a different language-perhaps a foreign language (?) to begin to answer the question. The video had little or nothing to say to the question, "What makes Christ worth dying for?"


Note after investigation into the question, the youth were wandering about the Sudan and other areas where Christians are killed for their faith. Note as well, I do mot mean to attack the Episcopal Church, but in my (I've already been accused of being pre-modern) mind these children were on to something very important and I thought it worthy to pass along and see what the more hip might have to say to their questions and my splinters.


In other news, my old youth group arrived in Chicago yesterday and we had a blast. To end the evening we saw Bonnie Raitt at Grant Park. They have a great mission trip planned here in Chicago and I am excited to be able to spend a bit of time with people from my home parish. Pax et Bonum