The feast of John Donne, Anglican priest and warrior poet

I have a lot to say today, but I yield for the moment to the great John Donne and his witness:


Holy Sonnet X
Death, be not proud, though some have callèd thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.
Thou'rt slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell;
And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swellst thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

John Donne (1572-1631)

Salvation on Sand Mountain by, Dennis Covington

A posting for Performance for Preists

And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover. So then after the Lord had spoken unto them, he was received up into heaven, and sat on the right hand of God.


(Disclaimer: I have not lost my mind, the book is about snake handling and holiness.)


His name was Johnny Buck…he was a steel fitter. Spent the first part of his life working city to city, putting up sky scrapers and stadiums. It was a good living for him until his first wife left him and took his kids into a drug filled underworld. It was then he came home…home to rural Mississippi and his holiness community. He married his second wife…a wife who didn’t cut her hair and wore the traditional dress of holiness women. It was a few years later that I met Johnny. We worked together at a crane company, burning up the roads of the south designing schemes to demolish factories, old fields and such. We spent countless hours discussing religion and this highchurchman came to find respect for his Pentecostal ways; ways which he admitted included drinking strychnine and handing snakes a time or two…I never new if he meant his church up the road or in some remote part of some God forsaken hill country farther east. It wasn’t until his brother was beaten to death that I went to his church. The Church could have easily been one mentioned in Covington’s book. It had an altar and fully electrified band, guitars drums, tambourines and people that weren’t afraid to ‘jam for Jesus.’

Walking in to the deafening music I witnessed something that I’d never seen before and possibly might never see again…but like Covington, I too was changed forever at that point. The church was gathered round the dead youth, praying and hollering and speaking in tongues trying to raise their loved one from the dead: a common practice at funerals that to often were the result of unnatural causes. I felt something in that church that day. My hair too stood on end and I was transported to a different world…a world filled with the Holy Ghost power. I left that funeral very conflicted and changed in the way I thought about God and the church. I felt something that day that I cannot deny was the presence of God.


I have other stories people that I worked with that were holiness. There’s Jerry, a man with whom I worked with in North Georgia, who actually worshiped a time or two in Kingston, Ga. (one of the Churches mentioned in the book.). Then there’s Ricky, who spoke often of his holiness Church in the mountains of North Georgia and invited Cat and I to attend several times. I never had the courage to go with him, and now I sort of wish I had.


This book for me was not a strange tale of a far away land…its been a part of my life…through the people I worked with and entrusted my life too. I worked and broke bread with them, we prayed together and talked a lot about God…they are a part of my extended family.


I don’t know if Trevor is having us read this book to test the limits of pluralistic convictions or for shock value…perhaps he is trying to engage us in new ways. What ever his reason, the book haunted me, it brought back memories of people I have known and loved through the years, and I have been wondering how they are faring now. Their lives were every bit as hard as the characters in the book. This book brought back memories of long theological debates, and many questions about holiness…a holiness that, because of the life I have shared with others, holds a special place in my heart-correct or incorrect faith practice, true religion or madness.


I probably should write of this pushing limits, and things I find troublesome about snake handling (and there are plenty), but I think I’ll enjoying thinking about those people who have been a part of my life and for tonight, remember them in a good light…a light provided by Holy Ghost power.
Grace and Peace

Open Communion ? Part II

The theology of open communion has still been rattling around in my head, and from the 32 comments of my last post on the subject, I gather that its minds of others as well. I have been studying the work of A.G. Hebert for my independent study of ritualistic church growth and found this topic was on his mind as well he says:


The Eucharist comes to us from our Lord; but the Liturgy, the ordering of the ceremonial, the music, the frequency and times of celebration, and all preparation for the sacrament, both public and private-all this is of human ordinance. Again, we cannot rightly accept the Eucharist, or the office of Bishop, apart from any doctrine of theory of its meaning. Evidently no doctrine that a human mind can frame will ever exhaust the whole meaning of a sacrament, since it is a Divine and Heavenly reality. Yet if a man has no doctrine or understanding of its meaning, he is not accepting it as having a Divine Meaning; he is using it as a piece of magic, or of mere formalism, and not as a sacrament. It can only be used as a sacrament when it is accompanied by some knowledge of its significance; and for this reason the Church must always provide by sufficiently defining its meaning…


Hebert, an Anglican theologian (there you go James), has a lot more to say about this, but I thought ya’ll might enjoy chewing on this for a while…

Bowling with the prophets

Cat and I went to a bowling party last night. Had a lot of fun…but strange things happened while we were there. First let me say that I have been wrestling with this passage from Ezekiel the last few days:


Thou son of man, shew the house to the house of Israel, that they may be ashamed of their iniquities: and let them measure the pattern. And if they be ashamed of all that they have done, shew them the form of the house, and the fashion thereof, and the goings out thereof, and the comings in thereof, and all the forms thereof, and all the ordinances thereof, and all the forms thereof, and all the laws thereof: and write it in their sight, that they may keep the whole form thereof, and all the ordinances thereof, and do them.


I don’t know how it got in my head, maybe David’s concerns, maybe nothing. I have had dreams about it and it has entered my times of contemplation, and last night Ezekiel and his words went bowling with me.


I ended up sitting at a table with four people asking all sorts of questions about Christ, the Church, spirituality etc. It was odd because all I wanted to do last night was blow off a little steam and spend a few much-needed hours relaxing. I don’t know how it happened really. It started by someone telling me they grew up in the Church and then left…”I’m still very spiritual, but think the Church is a bunch of crap.” This got the attention of another, who had similar things to say about God and Church. We talked of these things for a while, and we were soon joined by another who boldly claimed that ‘I am God.” “There is no one to watch over us but ourselves. He continued, “If someone points a gun at your head, and you call on your god, what is your God going to do…not a damn thing, that’s what. I am the only god who can help me. Prove to me that there is a God.”


This sparked the attention of the others and they wanted to here my apology for God in Christ Jesus. They wanted me to prove the Church wasn’t a “bunch of crap.”


It was at this point I really wished my blogging community was with me, giving guidance and aid when I err. But no such luck. It was just me. Four against one…well sort of, I had the Paraclete and the Communion of Saints in my corner.


I started my apology by telling them I could not prove any of these things they asked me to prove. There is no mathematical equation for faith. I did tell them that I would share my faith and belief with them. That let the air out of their sails a bit. They were looking for something concrete and hard-core. As I began to share my experience with them, the man who thought he was god, continually pounded me with problematic questions of my experience. The systematic side of me couldn’t resist his arguments and we had a good volley of theology, ecclesiology and faith in general. This the group tremendously enjoyed and for the remainder of the evening, they played stump the seminary guy.


In the end, two of the people thanked me for a ‘deep’ conversation; the guy who thought he was God shook my hand and walked off. And the fourth conned me into singing “El Paso” with him on the Karaoke machine. It was there my night ended, arm and arm singing “El Paso” with some guy from inner city Detroit who had a secret love of country and western music. Strange things happen when you take Ezekiel bowling.
Grace and Peace

I am the Walrus…Cu Cu Ca Choo

Sorry for my absence in blog land. I’ve been up to my armpits in work. I was up late last night and hit the ground early this morning and will be up late again tonight. It has hit the fan this week.

Bad things:

People abusing trust and taking advantage of others time
Car wrecks
Trying to do more than the hours of the day allow for.

Good things:

Finishing surveys and finding great parishes to fill them out
Finishing Ceremonial Rites
The Gospel of St. John
Tomorrow is Friday
Anglican Theologians
The Real Presence
Palestrina’s mass setting

Home again, Day II

Back to normal?

I feel as though I’ve been tumbling, lost in a Lenten tornado since coming back from Mississippi. I hit the ground running yesterday morning and haven’t slowed much since.
Classes are going to be good. In fact Fr. Griffiss’ (the one I’m helping with) went much better than I’d imagined. I hope it continues in that manner.


In other news Cat and my friend came back. He is a regular on the street corner were Cat and I eat every Tuesday night…I guess you could say he is a regular, as much as you can say that Cat and I are regulars. We have established a friendship over the past months. We even began to buy him dinner. He would always ask for his regular as we walked in. For the past month he hasn’t been on his street corner, and his absence has made our regular place…well, irregular. I oft wondered where he got off too. Did he die cold and alone? Did he get sick of the wind and cold and head to the gulf coast? (Lord knows that’s crossed my mind many times this winter.) Did he find another spot to be regular at? (I was sort of offended that he would stand us up.) Did he find a more profitable corner? As I handed him his dinner tonight, I didn’t have the courage to pry into his absence, I was just happy to know that he was O.K. and that little part of each of our worlds has become regular again. He always has a bible verse and I missed his wisdom…and his smiling face. His scripture passage tonight: Jeremiah 2:20-37.


For of old time I have broken thy yoke, and burst thy bands; and thou saidst, I will not transgress; when upon every high hill and under every green tree thou wanderest, playing the harlot. Yet I had planted thee a noble vine, wholly a right seed: how then art thou turned into the degenerate plant of a strange vine unto me? For though thou wash thee with nitre, and take thee much soap, yet thine iniquity is marked before me, saith the Lord GOD. How canst thou say, I am not polluted, I have not gone after Baalim? see thy way in the valley, know what thou hast done: thou art a swift dromedary traversing her ways; A wild ass used to the wilderness, that snuffeth up the wind at her pleasure; in her occasion who can turn her away? all they that seek her will not weary themselves; in her month they shall find her. Withhold thy foot from being unshod, and thy throat from thirst: but thou saidst, There is no hope: no; for I have loved strangers, and after them will I go. As the thief is ashamed when he is found, so is the house of Israel ashamed; they, their kings, their princes, and their priests, and their prophets. Saying to a stock, Thou art my father; and to a stone, Thou hast brought me forth: for they have turned their back unto me, and not their face: but in the time of their trouble they will say, Arise, and save us. But where are thy gods that thou hast made thee? let them arise, if they can save thee in the time of thy trouble: for according to the number of thy cities are thy gods, O Judah. Wherefore will ye plead with me? ye all have transgressed against me, saith the LORD. In vain have I smitten your children; they received no correction: your own sword hath devoured your prophets, like a destroying lion. O generation, see ye the word of the LORD. Have I been a wilderness unto Israel? a land of darkness? wherefore say my people, We are lords; we will come no more unto thee? Can a maid forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire? yet my people have forgotten me days without number. Why trimmest thou thy way to seek love? therefore hast thou also taught the wicked ones thy ways. Also in thy skirts is found the blood of the souls of the poor innocents: I have not found it by secret search, but upon all these. Yet thou sayest, Because I am innocent, surely his anger shall turn from me. Behold, I will plead with thee, because thou sayest, I have not sinned. Why gaddest thou about so much to change thy way? thou also shalt be ashamed of Egypt, as thou wast ashamed of Assyria. Yea, thou shalt go forth from him, and thine hands upon thine head: for the LORD hath rejected thy confidences, and thou shalt not prosper in them.


He gave no explanation…he never does, just offers it up to me with a heartfelt God bless.


Grace and Peace

Home again

Cat and I made it back to shy town in one piece, a little ragged, but give us a few days and we’ll be back in the groove. It was nice to be home among family and friends, I feel much more at ease for the time spent in the company of loved ones.


The sermon went well, I had forgotten just how closely tied St. Paul’s parish was to the military. There were a good number of Military folk present, mostly pilots and marine types. On the other hand, there were a good number who were decidedly antiwar. Surprisingly...my sermon was well recieved by the military folk...the antiwar folk wanting a stronger message.


School started back today and I am trying desperately to get back in the groove, the bad thing about being gone is that you’re gone…meaning you have to come back and catch up. I need to do some work tonight so I don’t have time for any deep ecclesiastical thoughts. I thought I might leave my sermon here for those interested.

Grace and Peace,


Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

The world’s coffee houses and dinner tables are buzzing with debate these days. The Church’s parish halls around the world are filled with talk of war, and America’s place in the global theatre.
Some are saying that the United Nations has given Saddam twelve years to make his wrongs right. The U.N. failed to stand behind its decisions and now a coalition of the willing must take action…all other means have failed. They say the United States has a moral obligation to remove the barbarous man and his government.
Others are saying that we cannot morally act outside the United Nations. The coalition of the willing acting alone, and making a pre-emptive strike, is a dangerous and immoral precedent. They ask, what will Stop India or North Korea from launching pre-emptive strikes of their own? What will stop the United States from making pre-emptive strikes elsewhere?
Some remember the horrors of World War II. They remember the Appeasement offered to Germany by Great Britain and France…they remember what Hitler did in light of their attempts to appease a war monger.
In my own seminary education, the global theatre and its interactions have been fertile soil for thinking theologically about what is morally righteous. I am studying all sorts of Christian theologies…some that oppose any violent act and others that say violence is some times necessary as a last resort. They are fascinating theologies and one could certainly spend a lifetime pondering the theology of war and nonviolence.
As I have been thinking a lot about those theories lately I stopped Wednesday morning as I do every morning and said the office of Morning Prayer. Something happened to me during my prayers. My soul was moved in a strange and dangerous way…. I was ripped from my place of contemplation. I was carried many places and shown the grim truth of war.
I saw death and suffering; both here and across the ocean. The grim truth of war is that people die and others are left behind to suffer pain and mourning alone. Couples are tragically separated…widows left to walk through the ruble alone. Children are orphaned, left to rely solely on the charity and compassion of those around them. The effects of the war will certainly touch our shores in that manner. How much more will it touch the lives of those for whom this battle ground is not a thousand miles away…how sad and painful it must be to have the battleground be your home.
Pain and suffering should not be left to face alone…in isolation. How much worse will a widow or orphans suffering be if they can find no comfort or solace from others? How can we as Church, allow them to suffer in isolation? That goes against the very Christ we claim as Lord and Savior.
No matter which side of the political spectrum we fall, it is a grave sin to distance ourselves from this reality. Every single person that dies or suffers at the hands of war is the Church’s responsibility. The Church in America cannot pretend that it is isolated from the evil reality of violence and death. When someone on a distant shore dies…a part of ourselves die with them. John Donne, an Anglican priest, puts this as eloquently as possible:

No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.

Through our life in God’s created order we are truly connected to each and every person that will die and suffer in the days of war.
One of my seminary professors, Father John Dreibelbis said in a sermon, “The United States finds itself in one of the greatest spiritual crises of its time.” How often can you here one country or another declare its power over another country? The people of our own country proclaim time and time again that the United States is the only superpower. Stop for one minute and listen to those words….The United States is the only superpower.
Those words are possibly one of the most dangerous statements that a people or country can make. Those words put the human condition and fallible governments above the true Sovereign power who is God Almighty. The words The United States is the only Superpower denies the rule of God over our government and our very Church.
Throughout the history of Christianity, theologians have worked tirelessly to find the balance between Church and state. On of the Anglican Church’s early theologians, Richard Hooker, saw government as a tool to Glorify God…he says “True Religion is the root of all true virtues and the stay of all well ordered commonwealths.” Even Hooker, who saw no separation of Church and state, knew the role of government was not to replace Christ as supreme ruler.
St. John tells the tale of Jesus, making a whip of cords and cleaning out the temple. There is urgency in St. Johns words, an urgency that places this story at the beginning of the gospel, setting the stage for the rest of Jesus’ ministry.
What exactly is Jesus cleansing the temple of? Evil villains who have set out to destroy the faith? Were those who traded in the temple going against God, willingly and wantonly?
The merchants in the temple were only providing a service to the worshiping pilgrims…pilgrims who had traveled many days with no way of caring for animals needed for the temple sacrifice. The merchants sold sacrificial animals to those who could not afford to keep and raise animals of their own. Within the Israelite faith, this was a charitable act.
And what about the moneychangers? Why did Jesus pour their coins on the ground? Jesus poured out the coins because the Roman currency bore the face of the emperor, it was considered idolatress to use on the temple grounds. The people of Israel had no other choice but to use Roman currency in their hometowns, but at the temple they needed righteous currency…and the moneychangers provided that service.
Jesus came into the temple to make it clear that he was out to turn over the tables of the faith. Jesus wanted to leave no doubt that True religion could have no compromises. Jesus proclaimed a faith that refused to fade into the everyday life of the system…a system that failed to recognize God as the Sovereign Good…a system that failed to recognize the God of Israel as the Supreme Authority . Jesus cleansed the temple to make public exactly who is the Sovereign ruler and the only True Superpower…His heavenly Father.

St. Paul understood the urgency in Christ’s actions in the temple. St. Paul also understood the death that had to occur in baptism to die to the fallible systems that claimed to be superpowers. He speaks this message to us this morning…writing in which he proclaims the death one must die, to be born into this new faith, this is True Religion with the only true Superpower.
Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!
We as a Church, and specifically as St. Paul’s parish are in a very hope-filled place this morning. By God becoming human in Christ, we are comforted in the fact that Christ is in the world sharing in our humanity…sharing in our pain and suffering. Through our baptism, we have died to the world and been born again into the reign of Jesus Christ. Through our baptism we are raised to a new life and become a part of the Church, of which Jesus Christ is the head. No matter how the present strife and conflict turn out, we have the comfort of knowing the Christ is with us in our humanity.
We have the blessing of coming before this altar daily and being filled with the Real Presence of Christ…revealed to us in the bread and wine. In the Eucharist, the presence of Christ fills our hearts and our minds. And with Christ dwelling within our hearts…we have the blessing of salvation. With that blessing of salvation also comes an awesome responsibility.
We are charged by Christ to take our blessing of salvation into the world and proclaim the reign of Christ as the only and everlasting Superpower. We are called to proclaim the good news of God in Christ who saves us from eternal death. We are called to proclaim Christ…to proclaim the Truth…the truth that Christ is the only one who can bring an everlasting reign of peace. We are called to love others as Christ loved us, and we are to give ourselves entirely to others as they suffer pain and anguish, so they too will know the love and joy of Christ’s reign.
St. Paul’s has taken many wonderful steps to act on this command. St. Paul’s is a blessing to its children…raising them up into a loving faith filled family. We have recognized the call to mission and have acted on it by our involvement in the Amos Network. We look forward to growth and have made a statement to the community with our capital campaign, a campaign to show the community that Christ is here for them and that we are here to serve Christ. St. Paul’s has committed itself to being that shining example of the reign of God to the community.
We know the mission of the Church is to restore all people to unity with God and each other in Christ. We as a Church pursue this mission through our prayers and in our worship…in our proclaiming the Gospel…in promoting peace and justice and love…our combined ministry carries all of these purposes to their fulfillment.
As we find ourselves here together, this third Sunday of Lent, in the midst of war and turmoil, think about how we can become missionaries to that True Religion. Think about how we can act in response to our true Superpower and show the world what the peace of Christ is all about.
We must start by leaving from here and proclaiming the good news. We must pray, and pray hard for peace and justice throughout Gods created order. We must seek and serve Christ in the poor and destitute. We must seek to ease the suffering and isolation of all those affected by the war, both on our own soil and in lands still smoldering from the effects of violence.
We, as Church, must above all, remember and proclaim that God Almighty is the only superpower. So as the world’s gathering places buzz about matters of war and justice, we as Church must make our voice known, and our actions public. We must proclaim the only one who can bring about everlasting peace on the earth. We must proclaim Christ as Lord and infallible Superpower.

Leaving on a jet plane

if we can get down Lakeshore Dr.

Another interesting day in the life of the world. Closer to home one of the main arteries through downtown was completely blocked by antiwar protesters. I don’t know what to think about that. I know to be effective and practice their convictions they must disrupt society. But is this the right time? Will there performance halt a war? Or will it simply aggravate tensions here at home…and worse show the people who have vowed to protect this land that their lives are meaningless. Not to mention the families that they come from. I was even more disturbed to see videos of beer swilling rebellious youth at the protest. The message they were sending was not one of peace, but that it was party time on Lakeshore Drive. If you are going to disrupt people’s lives, at least be decent about it...its not a party but a virtuous conviction-act like it. I thought of the poor people longing to get home to their families after a long days work. Working for a summer just down the road, I wondered if the ambulances could get to the hospital. I’m not one for political uprisings to begin with…I question what they actually accomplish. I question what this protest will actually say to those in power. Maybe some folks just need to blow off a little steam. Maybe I do too.

I was watching Bono on T.V. today and he had a slightly different message than some might want…he didn’t totally discredit military efforts…he did say that we could have been smarter about our conquest and “cut off the oxygen” to the country. Is that any more merciful to the innocent? There are no good answers to this evil situation.


Cat and I are leaving tomorrow morning for Mississippi. It will be warmer, the sun will be shining and I won’t have to worry about protesters closing down the roads. We again will be with family and friends…a much needed break from all of this. And I get to preach about the war and the Church’s place within it. See ya’ll Monday
Grace and Peace

The image; St. Cuthbert. The music; Barber’s Agnus Dei. My thoughts and feelings; numb and disbelief.


Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccáta mundi, miserére nobis.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccáta mundi, miserére nobis.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccáta mundi, dona nobis pacem.


Lamb of God, you take away the sin of the world: have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, you take away the sin of the world: have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, you take away the sin of the world: grant us peace.

Spring Brake

Frustrated, frightened, anxious, confused, angered: all feelings battling within for control of my emotions today. Give me a week off school and I am certain to go mad. The drawn swords don’t help matters. My having to preach this Sunday at home doesn’t help much either.


Today I began to outline a framework and contact potential parishes for my research project for next quarter. I became quickly frustrated in trying to put down what I really wanted the survey to say, and what movements my pen was actually making; trying to figure out a systematic study for church missions within the Anglo-Catholic tradition is proving to be a worthy adversary; maybe too worthy. Give me a life time, maybe, give me nine weeks…not so sure. I’ve always believed in following the guidance of the Holy Ghost, and in trying to put these things down on paper I almost feel I’m doing and injustice to the work of the Paraclete. Trying to tie scripture, tradition and sacraments together neatly has made a mess of my thought process. With a little encouragement (thanks David) and Jetho Tull’s Aqualung, I scraped together a systematic survey that just might yield results; that is if I can keep on track in logical thought about all this. And, God willing, the priests send my survey back in time.


I have to fly home Friday morning and preach to my sponsoring parish this Sunday…Rose Sunday. I am generally looking forward to the whole deal, and will get to eat my weight in crawfish as an extra-added bonus, thanks to my good friends at the hunting camp.
I learned a valuable lesson in homiletics this week. My sermons tend to be thoughtful; I like to try and capture my faith and emotions when writing. I unfortunately wrote this sermon two weeks ago…when sabers were only rattling in their sheaves, not drawn and bloodied, as it looks like they will be on Rose Sunday. It would be an injustice not to preach about the global theatre and the war…it’s more on people’s minds than abstaining from ‘goodies’ this Lent. Besides how could honestly set up into the pulpit, knowing good and well what is going on and not…it would be a failure of my duties and obligations to Christ, and a denial of food for spiritual hunger. Many of the communicants have family directly involved, and also faithfully have differing views on our involvement. So tonight I will spend time in contemplative prayer, turn off Aqualung and once again tune into my faith and feelings about Church, war and our place within all of that; I God willing will have something to deliver to the faithful…


Oh, for those of you dying to correct my errs, Haloscan promised they would have things up and running tonight, with all comments restored. We’ll see…
Grace and Peace


He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire. Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth…

Thoughts of Evil

My thoughts were of evil today. With the world on the brink of war…it’s hard not to think of such a force. It is even more difficult thinking about such things as evil in the setting of one of the more affluent areas in the country.


My life to this point has been gravy. Any hardship I have had to endure has been brought about by my action or lack of action, or truth be told, by my bucking common sense and an easier road to prove how stubborn I really could be.


I think of how much violence and evil have shaped my life. I think first of my experience in school. It was much more common to witness or somehow be connected to a fight, act of violence or hatred than go through a peace filled week of learning. For me violence and evil were from a very early point, natural parts of the world.


When I entered the post college working world, things were no different. I worked with 25 or so illegal immigrants who knew nothing other than standing square shouldered to Satan each and every day, with only the protection of the intercession of the Virgin and St. Michael to hope in for the well being of their families. Untimely death was too common and too large a part of their lives. My co-workers would leave for the winter and some would not make it back for the next growing season. One died after two days in the back of a U-haul truck, one was shot somewhere near the border, one drown, one got lost along the way never to be heard from again. If they were caught in America, chances were good that they would be robbed and put on a bus, beaten and put in jail or some other unspeakable evil would fall upon them. All this they risked only to feed their families back home living in dirt floor shanties. I was very affected by this, they were not statistics or newspaper articles; they were real people and I put my life in their hands weekly. At the end of a piece of heavy equipment or working around exposed high voltage lines, they were my family and I felt their pain, at times as hopeless as they were…we all spent time kneeling before the Almighty to ask the protection of the angels while I was a part of their family.


Things got no better at my second job. The workers were legal, but most had no education and nowhere to go. They risked death most every day only to feed their families. In that job I saw two people die and as of this post half the crew I worked with has been mangled in one way or another. The places we worked were no better. Factories employing illegal immigrants, working them literally to death, because they could, and no one to speak up, for these places owned the small towns they were located in.


Violence and evil has shaped my theology. Even in my life of gravy, I have witnessed more darkness than ought to be allowed. Mostly brought on by ignorance and economic frameworks, but evil is always close at hand. One of my better friends here at Seabury is from the Sudan, and tonight as the streets were lined up with anti-war protests, my heart went out to him. He has seen over two million of his countrymen murdered and tortured at the hands of the likes of Iraq. I can only imagine the isolation he feels as his newfound wealthy seminary community opposes this war; a war that for him is the only glimmer of hope for his country and his people.


While I do not advocate the war, I do think of all those tortured and murdered and starved to death at the hands of barbarous men. I think how painless, how neat and clean it is to protest a war which has no lasting effect on protesters either way. I think of those poor souls that look to this war as their only glimmer of hope and I as a priest-to-be am conflicted and torn. Torn by the fact that how much evil and violence I have seen and been a part of in my own country, and the fact that I can’t even begin to fathom what life must be like at the hands of madmen who have free reign over the innocent. Conflicted by the fact that for the sake of a lot of helpless people, this is their only hope and I won’t be to quick to deny them that hope.


As the world spins on her axis, unaffected by our actions, I sit here at seminary feeling helpless; only able to join in with my Hispanic friends asking God to send the protection of His holy angels and for the much needed intercession of the Virgin, and for the reign of Peace to be made known to the world anew.

John Donne has something to say about community

XVII: Nunc Lento Sonitu Dicunt, Morieris -
PERCHANCE he for whom this bell tolls may be so ill, as that he knows not it tolls for him; and perchance I may think myself so much better than I am, as that they who are about me, and see my state, may have caused it to toll for me, and I know not that.
The church is Catholic, universal, so are all her actions; all that she does belongs to all.
When she baptizes a child, that action concerns me; for that child is thereby connected to that body which is my head too, and ingrafted into that body whereof I am a member.
And when she buries a man, that action concerns me: all mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated; God employs several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some by sickness, some by war, some by justice; but God's hand is in every translation, and his hand shall bind up all our scattered leaves again for that library where every book shall lie open to one another.
As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come, so this bell calls us all; but how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness.
There was a contention as far as a suit (in which both piety and dignity, religion and estimation, were mingled), which of the religious orders should ring to prayers first in the morning; and it was determined, that they should ring first that rose earliest.
If we understand aright the dignity of this bell that tolls for our evening prayer, we would be glad to make it ours by rising early, in that application, that it might be ours as well as his, whose indeed it is.
The bell doth toll for him that thinks it doth; and though it intermit again, yet from that minute that this occasion wrought upon him, he is united to God.
Who casts not up his eye to the sun when it rises? but who takes off his eye from a comet when that breaks out? Who bends not his ear to any bell which upon any occasion rings? but who can remove it from that bell which is passing a piece of himself out of this world? No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
Neither can we call this a begging of misery, or a borrowing of misery, as though we were not miserable enough of ourselves, but must fetch in more from the next house, in taking upon us the misery of our neighbours.
Truly it were an excusable covetousness if we did, for affliction is a treasure, and scarce any man hath enough of it.
No man hath affliction enough that is not matured and ripened by it, and made fit for God by that affliction.
If a man carry treasure in bullion, or in a wedge of gold, and have none coined into current money, his treasure will not defray him as he travels.
Tribulation is treasure in the nature of it, but it is not current money in the use of it, except we get nearer and nearer our home, heaven, by it.
Another man may be sick too, and sick to death, and this affliction may lie in his bowels, as gold in a mine, and be of no use to him; but this bell, that tells me of his affliction, digs out and applies that gold to me: if by this consideration of another's danger I take mine own into contemplation, and so secure myself, by making my recourse to my God, who is our only security.

Rave on John Donne

They finde reason to conceive, not onely a pluralitie in every Species in the world, but a pluralitie of worlds; so that the abhorrers of Solitude, are not solitary; for God and Nature, and Reason concurre against it. Now a man may counterfeit the Plague in a vowe, and mistake a Disease for Religion; by such a retiring, and recluding of himselfe from all men, as to doe good to no man, to converse with no man. God hath two Testaments, two Wills; but this is a Schedule, and not of his, a Codicill, and not of his, not in the body of his Testaments, but interlind, and postscrib’d by others, that the way to the Communion of Saints, should be by such a solitude, as excludes all doing of good here. That is a disease of the mind; as the height of an infectious disease of the body, is solitude, to be left alone: for this makes an infectous bed, equall, nay worse than a grave, that thogh in both I be equally alone, in my bedd I know it, and feel it, and shall not in my grave: and this too, that in my bedd, my soule is still in an infectous body, and shall not in my grave bee so.

Questions of the individual and community

through parish life and beyond: Devotional centers vs. spiritual communities

Before I begin I would like to welcome a few more people into the sacristy. Susie, Frank and James. Each having wonderful and unique insight into sacerdotal matters.


I am taking an in depth look at the idea of Devotional centers vs. Spiritual Communies as part of a study for Church growth. Keep in mind these are hard line definitions, and very few parishes would find themselves completely within one definition. And I might very well be “off my rocker,” if you think so please comment. This is mostly a solitary undertaking (understanding that this type of work cannot , by its very nature, be solitary); one which I hope to front as a potential missionary method. I benefit greatly from thinking about ideas and concerns besides my own. Here is the difference I make of the two:


‘Devotional centers’ is an idea that comes out of the enlightenment and the rise of denominationalism. This model of parish would take the first line the Eucharistic thinking in my previous post. They open the doors on Sundays and possibly a day or two throughout the week and offer the community a type of devotion, the Eucharist could be said to be part of that devotion (some very liturgical, some praise music oriented, basically offering a particular style of devotion.). People are free to come and go as they please; no need of a true commitment. They also tend to have a somewhat shallow spiritual offering; not allowing room for spiritually addressing moral issues with health, marriage and family and work in the world; only a couple of times a week break from the world they live and work in.


“Spiritual communities” take the second Eucharistic theology in my previous post. There is a communal feel and church doors are open every day for prayer and Eucharist (clergy and lay lead). There is also a spiritual depth that offers centers for moral and faith issues surrounding health, marriage and family and work. There is a need of true commitment (Baptism and continual spiritual preparation that demands you address your life within and outside of the church community) to be apart of the community. These communities can be more like secret societies than parish churches and perhaps not particularly welcoming in some instances and some eyes.


What I am trying to unearth in my independent study is a model of a spiritual community, growth and mission that, while some might find exclusionary, is a dedicated community of faith, taking that faith to the most distant reaches of their being and life, committed in faith to Christ, transcendent in belief and eminent in sacraments and mission, and committed to Christ’s work in the world, and welcoming. Communities that offer spiritual centers for moral, faith and devotional in the areas of health, marriage and family, and work. I have found several parishes that embody this model, and hope to survey them for a more systematic look at this in the coming weeks.


To look at this through the lens of individual/community discussions that are burning through the cyberspace channels, I want to take Trevor’s side and try and discredit church growth and ecclesial theology that plays into the hands of the American ideal of the individual. I want to explore and root out isolating individualism from the community of God in Christ. I want to focus on a sacramental commitment that destroys this notion of the individual above the community.


“People say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one…” J.L.

Open Communion?

I want to think about open communion and really more than that, spiritual preparedness for the partaking of communion. Father Knight is correct in his thoughts over at Tripp’s place; in that it is more than a trend in the American Church, it is just the way it is. It wasn’t the way it always was though. I have read and even been a communicant in a parish that took this spiritual directive of Paul’s with deadly seriousness. I have also been in a parish that said nothing and asked no questions, no matter what you can come to the altar and no questions will ever be asked of you.
The no questions asked comes from a liberal catholic perspective that in no way, shape or form should the real presence of Jesus be denied to anybody—no way no how. The very thought of denying the presence of XP goes against their interpretation of the Gospel message, and really everything they worked for as a Christian. This school of Eucharistic Theology looks to the Eucharistic act and the Spirit’s inbreaking above all else. Instead of holding scriptures and tradition in tension, it holds the maturation of the Spirit within the Church as the guiding force over and against the threefold tension. What I mean by that is making the conscience choice not to hold what we do in tension with scripture or any rubric.
The other school of thought, those Churches who read Paul’s Exhortation and see this is a responsibility of salvific proportions.


For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do shew the Lord's death till he come. Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup. For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep. For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world.


For some it is possible to eat and drink to our own damnation, then we Christians have an obligation not to lead others down the path of destruction. There are many other images about being luke-warm and millstones that are also in this scriptural tension in regards to the real presence of the Eucharist. When we put our hand to the plow we can’t look back kind of thinking. There is the greatest of responsibility that must be acted upon in love to the surrounding community. I have been in a parish where the priest denied communion to those who were arguing, be it married couples, business partners etc. InThe early Church this was a commitment by the entire Church, not just the priest, and still is in some cultures. This line of thinking also sees Christ as really present in the Eucharist but does hold scripture and tradition in tension with the Eucharist.


I called this a trend because over the history of the Anglican Church, this practice of open communion is relatively new and not done throughout the country let alone throughout the communion. It is still in the theology of the B.C.P. and is still used. Obviously this isn’t a complete treatise on this matter, and holes can be found, but feel free to try and shoot some others in here as well. You can probably guess which line of thinking I take, and which line I will defend.

My favorite Smells

The bouquet of wet sawdust and hot chainsaws
The pungent odor of sour ale and cardboard
The fragrance of the morning dew
The sweetness of fleshly turned earth
the fruity aroma of harvest time
the intoxication of freshly mown grass
The nasal bite of burning steel
The rotting sourness of diesel and oil
The malodorousness of dirt and sweat
Form the memory of a hard days work.
But now those smells have faded
Only a faint hint in the air
Now the timelessness of a dusty Chapel
The antiquity of a moldy book
The stale city air
Are all that are left
to form the memory
of a hard days work.

Once to Every Man and Nation,

I didn’t get much accomplished academically today. I had one very powerful and painful conversation with someone whom I care very much for that scraped and ripped at the edges of my soul, very raw; very real. I walked away from this day torn and tattered, battling thoughts of Ethics readings and exhausted from painful petitions for the well being of some who really need prayer right now.
In the Ethics reading I pointed to the fact that by humanity being able to reshape God and the Eucharist, no real transformation has to occur on our part…our faith, but only on our terms. One can thusly image God and construct a God to meet our selfish desires… ‘your own personal Jesus…’ God demands that you meet God on His terms, and that He be allowed to transform you. To think otherwise is selfish and sinful, requiring no act of faith; only a likable rational argument. To construct our own image of God requires not that we put our hand to the plow and not look back; only that we sit at the drawing board and choose the amenities we desire. I still have much to flesh out, but this reaches into dark corners were evil and selfishness lurk. Charles William’s offered a great deal along these lines.


But alas, Grace did enter my life this night; a priest friend stopped by to seeking assistance in the correct way to say Rite II mass during Lent. His homeland either uses the Anglican Missal or the 1662 B.C.P, so for all you lamenting the passing of Rite I, or the 1928, he has a couple hundred years on you.


We ended up praying a good bit and singing a few hymns. In this seminary setting, we found ourselves outlaws singing outlawed hymns. One hymn in particular is very near and dear to my heart, recalling fond memories of my youth. Its to the popular tune Ton-y-Botel. Here are the lyrics. (If you want to sing along click the start button on the top left hand corner)


Once to every man and nation, comes the moment to decide,
In the strife of truth with falsehood, for the good or evil side;
Some great cause, some great decision, offering each the bloom or blight,
And the choice goes by forever, ’twixt that darkness and that light.
Then to side with truth is noble, when we share her wretched crust,
Ere her cause bring fame and profit, and ’tis prosperous to be just;
Then it is the brave man chooses while the coward stands aside,
Till the multitude make virtue of the faith they had denied.
By the light of burning martyrs, Christ, Thy bleeding feet we track,
Toiling up new Calv’ries ever with the cross that turns not back;
New occasions teach new duties, time makes ancient good uncouth,
They must upward still and onward, who would keep abreast of truth.
Though the cause of evil prosper, yet the truth alone is strong;
Though her portion be the scaffold, and upon the throne be wrong;
Yet that scaffold sways the future, and behind the dim unknown,
Standeth God within the shadow, keeping watch above His own.

It was removed from the Hymnal 1982 because of exclusive language (as I understand it), and thus its outlawed status. But it was strangely comforting to have two brothers in XP from the far reaches of the world, sitting together in a Chicago living room singing a much loved hymn that actually was written as a hymn to protest a warring madness. So I guess Father and I staged our own anti-war rally, old school style. I have nothing more to give today…off to lose myself in St. Augustine’s prayer book……………. Remember, Christian Soul THAT THOU HAST THIS DAY, AND EVERY DAY OF THY LIFE, God to glorify. Jesus to imitate. A soul to save. A body to mortify. Sins to repent of. Virtues to acquire. Hell to avoid. Heaven to gain. Eternity to prepare for. Time to profit by. Neighbours to edify. The world to despise. Devils to combat. Passions to subdue. Death, perhaps, to suffer. Judgment to undergo. (St. Augustine's Prayerbook)

Hope in a few children and God in the Balance

This morning came early, even for me. I arose at half past four, anxious and grumpy, but set aside time for St. Augustine's prayerbook and my Manual of Anglo-Catholic Devotion. Unlike Fr. Knight, who was anxious about preaching, I was anxious at having to teach several young confirmands the Exodus and the journey to Canaan, all in forty-five minutes. I spent a great deal of time trying to figure out just how to go about this. It is an injustice to the story of God’s Grace and the relationship to His people. What even makes it more difficult is when I asked the kids to name one of the Commandments; all I got back were blank stares. I don’t fault them, but I do find fault with the system. I do find fault that I am only allowed forty-five minutes with kids who knew nothing about Mt. Sinai, the burning bush, the Golden Calf and other essential elements of the story of the people of God. Trying as hard as I could, prayerfully scheming as to just how to do this…I came to the conclusion that it was in fact impossible. My prayers did pay off however, the kids wanted to know more about the story than I had time to tell. They asked me if it was O.K. to read some on their own. O.K. to read own your own? My eyes welled up with tears, and I gave them every contact I had, my email, phone number I.M….if they had any questions day or night, please please call. It was hopeful that they had some interest sparked without influence from the powers that be (mothers and tight schedule.) Please keep them in your prayers. I told them that if they paid attention to the first part of the Liturgy, they would hear either the Ten Commandments or the Shema (the greatest commandment). But no such luck this morning. Passed right over that part. How I long for the days of Rite I. There it is not an option. I am shocked and saddened to find how many parishes have totally removed this part of the Liturgy. We can spend ten minutes after the peace discussing coffee hour, but God forbid we take time to mention the Ten Commandments.


In the midst of our warring madness, I was very moved by the stained glass above the altar where I attended mass today. It is a depiction of the Risen Lord, surrounded by Apostles, prophets and even two armored knights, genuflecting at the feet of our Lord and Savior. While this may be appalling imagery to some, I see it from a hopeful perspective, a much needed perspective. I imagine that some in that window were pacifists, and some were Just Theory adherents, but they all humbled themselves at the feet of Christ Jesus. Something we should all prayerfully consider….


Which leads my to my required blog on the Ethics reading for the week upcoming.

God in the Balance

, by Carter Heyward: For Christian Ethics


I found her description of Just war theory good. Using St. Augustine, she says that before one can undertake war, one must love the people they aim to confront. Her thoughts glued my eyes to that Stained glass window this morning.


I again feel like the archaic orthodox Neanderthal, dragging my knuckles on the ground, Bible in hand clumsily coming forth from my cave to meet her with disapproval. Maybe I’m just plain old grumpy, I don’t know. She takes a very secular humanistic approach to re-imaging God. That comes to close to making an object out of God that we can reshape to our own needs. I would rather re-image our role as God’s creation, and re-image what we need to do to be righteous. “He has told you O mortal what is good….” Maybe rethink those types of things. I understand that that might be her aim, I just can’t stomach her method.
He re-imaging the Eucharist was hurtful and approaching blasphemy. She stated that Orthodox Christianity is incorrect in its thoughts surrounding the Eucharist. She says that we should "image the Eucharist to celebrate ourselves, one another, and the Spirit that we meet through one another’s love, advocacy and compassion.” I don’t want to celebrate my sinfulness or anyone else’s. While we can celebrate our Salvation, it is not of our doing, but God the Father through the Mercy of Christ Jesus that we are able to approach the altar. It does not get much more sinful than her advice on Eucharistic matters. It doesn’t get much more humanistic either. In a last ditch effort I thought she might have at least given some acknowledgement to God somewhere, maybe in the opening. When I turned to the front of the book I found no recognition of thanksgiving to God. But she was thankful for Sue Hiatt, her horse trainer, and “Sugar” the horse who smiles. I have not had the courage to read any farther. I have become too upset with her humanism and by reading further, I will surely only harbor even more ill will towards this undertaking. To my classmates, my deepest apologies for not reading the book in its entirety, I hope by class I will have settled down and been able to pick her work up again with a slightly more open attitude, and perhaps not dragging my knuckles. But as it stands now, I cannot.
God have mercy on me a sinner.

Who has the valid orders around here?

Cliff raises a serious question regarding the meaning of the priesthood in three of the different branches of the Church. I will try and be as brief as possible. When Canterbury broke away from Rome, Canterbury kept the same unbroken line of consecrated Bishops stemming back to the Apostles (some argue that that claim in itself, from Rome and Canterbury is invalid, but bracket it for a moment please.) SO we have had the same ‘validity’ of our orders as Rome. What separates us and what Rome identifies with is the Bishops submission to the Pope, which the Anglican Church refuses to do. So Rome claimed our orders invalid for the very same reason. The Orthodox Church is a little more complicated and hasn’t recognized Rome or the ‘west’ for quite some time, but fails to recognize our orders as well. While on the other hand, we welcome and hold valid the orders of both Churches, claiming the same ‘mark on the soul’ or validity. It is only through schism and arguments that the Church has come to this point, refusing to recognize one another.


I ask you for a brief moment to consider what actually makes a priest, councils and Papal decrees, or the mark on the soul given by the Holy Spirit Himself? We have no trouble speaking of Baptism that way, in most cases. Does the Bishop make the priest, or does the Holy Ghost? I will answer with certainty that it is in fact not the Bishop but rather the Holy Ghost. While I also rightly say that Bishops are a necessity and ordained themselves by God, but they are not God and place no mark upon the soul of the priest. It is by the grace of God and not the hands of men that the priesthood is valid. Melchizedek was bound by no council, decree, or Papal edict, he was bound by none other than God Almighty, it is sinful and quite possibly damning to think otherwise.


I am going to step out on a limb and say that it is through our sinfulness and failure to recognize other churches orders as valid, that we run the risk of blaspheming against the Holy Ghost. We do our best to put stones in front of one another and despite our best efforts, the Holy Ghost breaks through and the Church continues undaunted in her mission.


To say that Christ is head of the Church and then leave councils and decrees and yes even schism to act in place of God is dangerous. Look where that has gotten the people of the Church—denying the work of the Holy Ghost, it is a sad thing indeed and a topic which should be approached with the utmost of humility, lest we end up with millstones round our necks, all of us. God have mercy on us sinners.


I however do hold to the teaching of the councils as the work of the Spirit and look to Scripture, Tradition and Teaching as gifts from Christ to guide the Body. While I myself am as guilty as the next of searching for that True religion, I also understand that it will never be found by looking at differences and divisions but rather when we honestly and whole heartedly strive for unity and strive to heal the wounds and really and I mean really look to Christ as the head, not Rome not Canterbury and not Constantinople. I do not write this to condemn, I myself would be tossed to the depths of the sea with the first batch. I write this to try and flesh out who is actually the head of the Church who actually makes the mark on a baptized soul and on a priest, and I say Christ and His gift of the Holy Ghost, not any council or decree, or any result of division and claims to True Church.


So I hold the Orthodox, Roman and Anglican orders as all being valid, all being granted by the grace of the Holy Ghost and all working to the same end, the salvation of the world, no matter how hard we hinder the Spirit.


Whew, I feel better now. Cliff I hope you don’t take offence to this, it was not meant to be an attack. I just have very strong feelings and concerns about this and to be honest, I fear for my salvation when I think about denying the validity of others orders. When we talk of them meaning different things, that gets a little close for my comfort.


While I think you can argue rightly about communities having to have borders, and the validity of orders being one of those, but I can’t go there, not when I see orders as belonging to God.


God willing, through His mercy only, when I am ordained I will not be an Anglican priest, I will be one of God’s holy priest’s serving the mission of His Church and the souls of the world in the Anglican arm of Christ's One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church.

God have mercy on me a sinner.

The virtue of Love and an Ember Day letter

I sat down this morning to compose an Ember Day letter to my Bishop. To let you in, Ember days occur four times in the yearly calendar and are days of penitence and reflection. They are also days when clergy write their Bishop to inform them to their spiritual condition. The practice is limited in most areas to only seminarians, but it is one I am thankful for. It seems to me that this is a time of anxiousness for some in seminary, for others a wasted time when they figure out the least they must do to fulfill the requirements. I look at this as a wonderful opportunity. The bishop is my priest, and not to share honestly with him is only an injustice to Christ and to the Church. Today I shared with him my Lenten discipline; really my attempt to grow and deepen my life with God and others. So, while I did give up the occasional mixed drink I took on the beginning of a journey.


I was struck squarely in the face a few weeks ago. Since I was a young boy, I held up the life of Christ and the saints as something to be imitated and to be sought fully. The way they completely emptied themselves and gave the entirety of their being to God in the service of others really touched and moved my soul and was the pattern I desired to image in my own life. By the Grace of God my eyes were pried open to the way in which those virtues can be distorted and turned into sinful, even damning behavior. In trying to image and daily live onto these virtues, I failed to allow God and others to love me back, the way I desired to love them. I overlooked the most important part of the relationship of the Son to the Father. Even when Jesus was in the wilderness, He welcomed the Father attending to Him with angels. From a young age I imagined that it would be more virtuous and closer to what I thought I was called to do by not burdening others with the responsibility of loving me. Not that I didn’t allow others to love me, but there are places in my soul where this was definitely the case. I thought this was a virtuous thing, but it is in fact damaging to my relationship with God, my wife and those around me. Christ and others need to be able to attend to me and love me in those ‘deep places’; in those very same places that I desire to love God and others in myself. So for my Lenten discipline this year, I am going to spend time prayerfully working on ways to open my soul to allow God, Catharine and others to love me more completely, in order that my relationships can become strengthened and allow love to more completely abide. I know these words are strong and perhaps somewhat distressing, but please don’t be alarmed by them, for me this is a very joyous discovery, and one that will, God willing, strengthen my faith and my marriage and allow me to more fully serve Christ and His people.


That is just a short part of a much longer, intimate letter to the Bishop. I write this because I think that we humans, especially in America are inherently stubborn when it comes to allowing others to love us. Some don’t feel deserving, others are full of fear and anger, and some even naïve enough to think that strengthens them and is somehow virtuous in the eyes of God. Its all just a crazy little thing called love. In the words of John Paul George and Ringo, “Love Love me do.”
Grace and Peace
May God have mercy on me, a sinner.

The Church Infallible

I promised I would not comment or push Tripp on his blog page with regard to his wrestlings. I however was pushed in reading his blog to think hard about Church, and I don’t think I am in violation posting on my own blog about the idea of Church.


There is the greatest Truth in the Body of Christ, of the Church. I think most manifestations of the Christian faith and most certainly those claiming orthodoxy would agree that the mission of the Church is to bring the world to the knowledge and love of God through Christ Jesus. The Truth there being the Salvation of Souls and everlasting life. In that truth the Church is infallible. The Church is unshakable. The Church is a Divine organism with Christ as the Head.


In looking at the infallible nature of the Church, it is incorrect to look at one particular parish and point a finger and say look, this proves my point of the fallibility of your claim. Nor can you look to a larger area and say look, those priest’s are molesting children, the Church is fallible.


You can only look at the infallibility of the church as an organic living whole. You must look at the Church and its Divine mission through the centuries to base your judgment on its infallible/fallible nature. Think The Church’s One Foundation.


Further I think you must look to the Head of the Church, and what the Church is working against—sinfulness and death. And while this sinfulness and death are brought in through the frailties of humanity, the Church sails on tirelessly and with the same infallible nature. I would love to write more but I must be off to class.

Be careful what ye ask for, you might just get it

Since beginning seminary, I have become very interested in the Oxford Movement and in theology from the Anglican Church. This quarter I enrolled in a tutorial with Fr. Jim Griffiss and have been really enjoying the one on one lectures and discussions. So much so that Fr. Griffiss, who is not afraid of very demanding, work loads, asked me to assist him in teaching a class this next quarter. I of course jumped at the chance, not thinking what it would involve. Along with my assisting in his class, I will be studying the Catholic movement in the Episcopal Church and Ritualism and devising a program for Church growth and mission, even looking at Church planting…all from the Anglo-Catholic lens. Have I bitten off more than I can chew…well only time will tell. I know this, the spring quarter for head sacristans is brutal enough without the extra burdens. But in my foolish naiveté and optimism I am very excited about the opportunities and events this spring.

I received an email this morning asking me to post instruction as to when to remove imposed ashes from the forehead. This question has several schools of thought, but my opinion was asked so I give it. If any others have thoughts, please take a moment to comment so that we can revile something of the nature of these sacred day and Rite.


TO begin I consider as do Aquinas, Hooker and many others, the church building to belong to God, and therefore public. When we, the faithful, enter and worship we are thereby making a public witness to the awesome power and Sovereignty of God. When ashes are imposed, making a public statement about our mortality and dependence on God alone, today I think it is fitting to let them remain for the duration of the service, but upon exiting the building, wipe them from your forehead.


I say this because while fitting as a symbol of our “remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return” mortality, the ashes are quite fitting. But as a symbol of penitence I find the small cross of ashes perhaps not the best way to show our penitence and remorse for sinful behavior. Think of Jonah’s Ninevites, who when repenting en the news reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust. Then he issued a proclamation in Nineveh: "By the decree of the king and his nobles: Do not let any man or beast, herd or flock, taste anything; do not let them eat or drink. But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish.".
If we desire to go into the streets and show penitence, perhaps we should image the Ninevites and ‘go all out.’


If you do decide to wear them the rest of the day, try and think of them as a sign of mortality and Dependence on God for Salvation and defeat over our mortal death. My suggestion is to try and think about the Christian virtues and keep the day holy by making every effort to show humility, charity and Christian love to those you encounter ‘in the streets.’


Again, I think it would be beneficial to hear from others, so that a more complete thought can be formed around this sacred Rite. Lastly I apologize for the image and music today, I tried to post sounds and sights that would help us think about the beginning of our observance, but even though the change was made on the template, I am still getting the Wesley bros. I guess somebody at blogger likes them.
Grace and Peace,
May God have mercy on this sinner

Ash Wednesday

For the faithful who keep the western kalendar, today is Ash Wednesday a time of self-examination and repentance. (For Karl, James, Cliff, Anna and my other Orthodox friends, I won't forget about you on the start of your Great Lent, Clean Monday, March 10th.) Lent is time of prayer fasting and self-denial. I look forward to a holy observance and the oportunities to go to deep places within my soul and within my relationship with Christ. May God have mercy on me, A sinner. I thought instead of my thoughts I would leave you with St. Thomas Aquinas and a few prayers from the Anglican missal.

Unto thee, O God, who art the well of mercy, do I a sinner draw nigh. Vouchsafe then to wash me who am unclean. O Sun of Righteousness, enlighten me who am blind. O everlasting Physician, heal me who am wounded. O King of kings, clothe me whom am naked. O Mediator with God and man, reconcile me who am at enmity with God. O Good Shepard, bring me back who have strayed from thee.
Grant, O God, mercy to the wretched; pardon to the criminal; life to the dead; justification to the sinner; the anointing grace to the hardened in heart.
O most merciful One, call me back who flee from thee; draw me to thee who seek to escape from thee; lift me up who falls; hold me as I stand; lead me as I walk. Forgive me when I forget thee; turn not away from me when I sin.
For by sinning I have offended thee, O my God; I have wounded my neighbor; I have not spared myself.
I have sinned against thee, O God; by my weakness against thee, O Father almighty; by my ignorance against thee, O son who art the Wisdom of God; by malice against thee, O holy Ghost; and in all things I have offended thee, O most excellent Trinity. Woe is me! How often have I sinned, how greatly have I erred! O my God how greatly have I offended thee in word and in deed, by open and hidden sin!
Wherefore I beseech thee for my weakness, that thou regard not my sin, but thine own bountiful goodness, and that thou forgive the evil I have done of thy loving kindness, giving me contrition for my past sins, and effect care for the time to come. Amen. (St. Thomas Aquinas)


Almighty and everlasting God, we beseech thee to spare them they are penitent, and to be favourable to them that call upon thee. Vouchsafe, we pray thee, to send thy holy Angels from heaven to bl+ess and sanc+tify these ashes, that they may be a wholesome medicine to all them that humbly call upon thy holy Name, who in their consciences by sin are accused, who in the sight of thy heavenly mercy bewail their sins, and earnestly and meekly implore thy gracious loving-kindness. And we beseech thee to grant to all them that call upon thy holy Name, that being sprinkled with these ashes for the remission of their sins, they may be preserved evermore both in body and soul. Through Christ our Lord. (prayer for the blessing of ashes)


Grant, we beseech thee, O Lord, that we, who now with prayer and fasting do put upon us the armour of our Christian warfare, being defended by the power of abstinence, may fight manfully against all spiritual wickedness. Through Christ our Lord. (collect after the imposition)

A bow of the head or a tip of the biretta

Its been a wonderfully frustrating day. My dog has even been effected…chewing all sorts of things and getting into all sorts of trouble, which is very unlike her, something is definitely in the air here at Seabury. It the midst of a somewhat somber day, my new testament class discussed The letter to the Hebrews, which is one of my favorites. Good old Melchizedek, as one God willing, entering the priesthood, I am very much strengthened by that letter. While it may not be kosher now days to imagine the priesthood as after Mel, I daily find strength from that theological take…Maybe its just a fond remembrance of my youth, but who cares, I dig it all the same. Then tonight the vesper reading was the incarnational reading from John, or the ‘last Gospel’. And while we didn’t pause and fall to our knees, well one of us did, it was powerful for me today. To top it off I received an anonymous email asking me to explain why (and I assume the writer meant me) some Anglicans bow their heads at the name of Christ. The letter went on, and although one could read the letter as a joke or derogatory hit on those of us of the higher persuasion, I’ll gladly address that right now. Traditionally, the faithful bowed there heads, or tipped there birettas (if clergy) at the name of Jesus to make reparation for all the times that our Savior’s Holy name has been taken in vain. I do it as a sign of submission and servant hood (He is my Lord, I am his servant, He has ownership over me). I do it as a sign of homage and respect for his Atonement and my salvation. I bow my head at the name of Jesus so that when I have to suffer through David’s preaching, no one can tell if I am nodding off or being reverent.



DISCLAIMER: It is not a good idea, nor do I condone bowing your head at the name of Jesus so you can fool people during sermons.
(sorry David, I couldn’t resist.) :)

BIO ETHICS by GILBERT MEILAENDER

A review for Ethics Class

Meilaender takes the reader into the world of Christian Virtue and ethical subjects like suicide, abortion, parental screening and organ donation, plus a few other subjects. I was quite puzzled by his use of logic in coming to conclusions over these issues. Take his argument on abortion. He begins by discussing the fact that we can’t base our judgment on human experience, but then he uses human experience to warrant justification in certain circumstances: a very unusual manner to go about the work of Christian virtue. I did think it was a good introduction to these issues that priests will surely face time and time again. In my short time learning the ropes of ministry I have already encountered various of these issues. The most difficult of these was when I was confronted by a couple who made the decision to have an abortion when they learned their child would have downs syndrome. It was a very difficult situation filled with grief and anguish. There was no easy way. The doctor telling them it was O.K. and their hearts and our prayerful discussions telling them another. Three years later and they are still dealing with the fall out, which was at its worst a separation leaving two young children in the wake. While they are back together and recovering, they both admit that they will be scarred for life and have a lot to work out together. A few thoughts concerning this and the book. In their case the Church (community and otherwise) weren’t equipped to support them, and lacked the language and really a stance on this, leaving their primary pastoral support and faith community flailing in the wind. By the time I came into contact with them, they were already so conflicted that all I could do was suffer with them and support them. The issues the book raises are serious and we will deal with them often and need to be able to talk about them and understand the place of the Church within these issues. I felt he could have done a much better job there. I walked away from the book desiring a manual of Moral Theology. That couple I suffered with wanted one too.

A coffee induced lament

Friday, I was awakened to an area of spiritual death within. As a sacristan, in preparing for mass, it has been my habit to prayerfully prepare the chapel for worship. As of late, I have slowly, piece by piece fallen away from the habit of prayerful preparation. I don’t know exactly what happened or why. Conflict within? Conflict from differing views at seminary and within the Church? I don't really know, other than a numbing feeling were passion once dewlt. Anyway my prayer routine went something like this:


As I entered into the chapel and walked into the sanctuary, in the presence of the reserved sacrament and the altar, I would pray an old prayer, (Armenian I think?):


O heavenly Father, who for our sake did offer up your Son to death, as the receiver of our debts, for the sake of His shed blood, have mercy on your faithful. In your presence O Lord, I beg you to have mercy on your faithful whom you redeemed at such a great price. O Holy Ghost, who came down to effect this Mystery of Him who with you is glorified, through the shedding of his blood I beg you to give rest to the souls of the departed.


Next I would lay out the vestments for the celebrant, chasuble first praying
O Lord, Who has said, "My yoke is sweet and my burden is light," grant that (priest’s name) may carry it so as to obtain Thy grace.
Followed by the stole: Restore to (priest’s name), O Lord, the state of immortality which was lost to (priest’s name) by our first parents, and although unworthy to approach Thy sacred mysteries, grant (priest’s name) nevertheless eternal joy.
Laying out the cincture, Gird (priest’s name), O Lord, with the cincture of purity, and quench in (priest’s name) heart the fire of concupisence, that the virtue of continence and chastity may remain in (priest’s name).
In some cases I would lay out the alb, saying, Purify (priest’s name), O Lord, from all stain and cleanse (priest’s name) heart, that washed in the Blood of the Lamb, (priest’s name) may enjoy eternal delights.
Finally in some circumstances I would lay out the amice, saying,Place, O Lord, unto (priest’s name) head the helmet of salvation, that (priest’s name) may overcome the assaults of the devil.


Now I don’t know if I am supposed to be saying those prayers, but it helped me to go to deep places when preparing the chapel. Then I would spend time assisting the volenteer sacristans to help them feel comfortable and confident in thier duties. There is usually a five-minute silence immediately before the service, in which time I would pray for the preacher, celebrant and altar party, as well as the gathering of the faithful.


I lament the fact that I have fallen away, with nothing taking the place of the practice of prayerful preparation…nothing except an old school work ethic demanding nothing less than perfection in anything I undertake, I give my word and my best I will give. Its a funny thing with faith, that God sometimes demands entirely something other. I give 100% to make sure things are right, but GOD demands patience and humility, obediance and prayerful presence. Now matter how hard I work or how perfect things are, God demands of me not perfection, but presence and humility. (Note the artwork choice, a break from the kalendar, Martha Rebuking Mary for her Vanity and Palestrina's Kyrie)

And Friday all these thoughts were brought on by coffee. I sank to the depths of bringing coffee into the sacristy and sipping on it while I prepared the missal. Thankfully, a good friend of mine thoughtfully took the coffee from me and took it out of the sacristy. This might seem silly to a few of you, but it was a very symbolic act for this highchurchman. I am looking forward to the oportunity of Lent and a time of serious soul searching and righting myself in preparation for the resurrection. Time to repent and by the Grace of God fill the numb places with passion once again.


The power of coffee, sometimes it can awaken more than a hard night’s sleep.

A good thumping relieved by thoughts of Pumpkinseeds

Today was spent strolling the contained waters of the Shedd Aquarium. What a wonderful place to contemplate life and faith…just me, the wife and in-laws and the entire state of Michigan. Often crowded spaces allow for solitary thought. I was thinking a lot about my previous post and singing over and over again the hymn When I Survey the Wondrous Cross, there’s something about those lines that always put me in a different place, sometimes warm and fuzzy, sometimes dark and hard. Today I was visited by both.


When I survey the wondrous cross where the young Prince of Glory died, my richest gain I count but loss, and pour contempt on all my pride.
Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast, save in the cross of Christ, my God: all the vain things that charm me most, I sacrifice them to his blood.


I thought of another time when I felt a spiritual death in my not to distant past. I was serving as a chaplain in a downtown hospital. I was brought in to minister to a family who had just suffering the untimely decision to remove life support, meaning the death of their father, leaving a very distressed and estranged son. When I arrived I was literally attacked by the young man who spat in my face and demanded to know why God did this. After a few hours things were better for him and he spent time with his father reconciling things past. And I walked down the hall changed. I didn’t make a conscience change, but something in me was determined to single-handedly reconcile the world to Christ and to one another. You can probably guess that I didn’t accomplish this small pursuit. In fact a few days later with my back almost broken and my hands and feet spiritually torn and bleeding, I was approached by an angel of God. She said to me, “Father Jeff, when you finish healing all of the sick and ending the suffering of the world, when you send forth rain to all the dry areas of the world and hold the rain back from the flooded, ask your brother God to loan you His sense of humor, because this burden will brake your back and be your damnation.” Got it, said I. For the short time…I got it.


Not to long ago I set off down the same road…set out on my own to right the world, or in this case the Church. I’ve been carrying the weight of the strife and division within the Church on my back, trying to reconcile my faith with modernity and embrace everybody and find a theology that everyone can live with. Mostly desperately trying to reconcile my faith so as to ‘keep up’ with the changing face of the Church. I succumb to the fact that my faith is all I have and like Luther, “here I stand I can do no other” (there you go David). I love others, and never mean to be a burden or stumbling block to the faith, but some trends in the Church I can’t reconcile myself to, no matter how desperately I work at understanding through prayer and study and engagement, and that desperate search for understanding is a dark and hard place indeed. And maybe I need not worry so much about the state of the Church and worry more with submitting to the will of God. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

This morning before our venture to the Shedd Aquarium, I had so heavy a burden I went to confession. I was told by the priest, if I plan to approach these topics that I had better gain a sense of humor or I would be my own damnation. All right already! I thought. He told me that some people (meaning me) need to be thumped by God every now and again: “And he took them, and sent them over the brook, and sent over that he had. And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him. Father told me that I needed a good thumping every now and again. It keeps you honest he said. Yes Father, it does keep you honest.


As I waded through the sea of young children later that afternoon, I made my way to the southern fish, and as the young children stood awestruck admiring the ‘exotic’ Pumpkinseed sunfish, I smiled and thought how good that sunfish would taste fried golden brown, with a side of beer batter hushpuppies on the back deck of my old house. I smiled and thought it would be even better with a cold bottle of beer and Professor Longhair singing, “Tipitina.” I thought of the warm summer breeze that often accompanied the nights on that old deck and the wonderful smells and sounds of home. As a looked at that fish, I knew I was going to be alright, and once again a gave thanks for yet another thumping, Jacob style.


With the day Thou gavest Lord, being over, it’s time for me to hobble into my study and commit myself again to the serious business of prayer and preparation for tomorrow’s Feast.


For those who left comments and emails of encouragement, I am thankful and reminded through your concern and love of the Goodness and Mercy of God.
Grace and Peace